Every Living Thing in this House

Everyone Wants a Piece of My Goddamn Pottery Barn Couch--Even the Cat.

"Aww"

"Wait."

My ONE nice bit of furniture.

Feck.

Other than this assault, it’s actually only been Sharpied once.  Still pretty pristine compared to the rest of our stuff.

Happy Easter

 Happy Easter to Aunt Kay, From Your “Practice” Grandkids--

XOXO, L

Santa Cruz Versus the World

 A Comparative Photo Essay

Everywhere Else, USA:

[Ho-hum street names having to do with sports]

Santa Cruz:

[Straight to the point: Old Big Trees Rd, along Hwy 9]

[Actual street names en Español: Quién Sabe Rd, Scotts Valley]

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Namespotting:

Reeva  

Anson  

Nash 

And *this* lady on Facebook.  I don't make fun of too many names as a general rule, but I can't stop laughing when I say this name out loud.

Apparently this is her real (married) name--I know because I made the blunder of publicly asking our mutual friend on her Facebook post.

I totally thought it was an awesomely disgusting, double entendre nickname and that she was my kinda people...yeah.  No.  It's her real name.

She ended up sending me what my father-in-law calls a "nastygram" (p*ssed-off rant of a message) over FB messenger, calling me out as a stupid, terrible person for making fun of someone's name like that.

True, true.  To be completely honest it was more out of amazement than b*tchiness, though.  But by then I was laughing too hard to explain myself, backpedal, or apologize properly, so I just blocked her like the grownup I am.

Also me, inside my head:  [Honey you do realize you don't have to take your husband's last name?  Way to take one for the team.]

Then again, if Joe's last name were Butt, I still would've taken his last name, too.

Namespotting

Names from a different class at my son's preschool (links to name info, courtesy of Nameberry).

Miri and Freya, the 3- or 4-year-old artists behind these:

Lark (I love this name!)

Some parents' names:

Ilea doesn't come up as a searchable entry on Nameberry, BehindTheName, or even Google (aside from some acronyms).  Facebook has mostly people named Ileana.  Ilea is cool and unusual!

Doris is fun and retro, and I can't help but wonder if this is a grandparent's name.

Best Flower Names

 Namespotting: Nine of the Best Flower Names

Sure, Elon Musk and the so-called namers-of-the-future are calling their children Lux, Flux, X, Y, Z, and whatnot.  But these fun, floral names are far from wilted.  Here is a visual guide to these stunning names.

Hyacinth

The youngest Bridgerton daughter, she is fresher than Violet but has the visual impact of a purple gentian.  Use it with Cindy as a retro but ready-to-return to the mainstream nickname.

Zinnia

If you need a reason to namesake the likes of this Blush Zinnia, Z-names for girls are gaining in popularity.

Dahlia  

Dahlias are members of the plant family that includes daisies.  There's also a noir association with "The Black Dahlia" murder case, but the association isn't a very well-known one.

Linnéa

This "twinflower" name would be great for a girl who has a boy twin named Thomas ("twin").  The accent over the "e" is not necessary.  Pick the Linnaea species spelling for maximum plant power.

Iris

A sleek name that would make a good sister to an Elise.

Lilac

This fragrant flower comes from a deciduous tree or large bush.

Azalea

Spring-blooming azaleas are associated with the Southeastern United States, Asia, and parts of Europe.

Rose

This name is a classic (and the name of everyone's favorite Golden Girl) for good reason.  The Just-Joey variety (above) is a showy example of its loveliness—Josephine Rose, nicknamed Joey, is worthy of the flower.

Camellia

It sounds a little bit like "chameleon", but Cammie is cute.  Camellia is a Southern character of one of the girls from Before We Were Yours.  Camellia leaves are used to make tea, and this bush grows into a small tree.

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Spotted (or overheard) at a park in Soquel: Striker, someone’s son of about six or seven. 

Land of Flowers and Nuts

Tiptoe Through the Lupines

 

I thought some old-ish lady was trying to Karen me when she shamed me for picking these flowers by the side of the road. 

“There’s not enough of those this year,” she motioned toward a hillside with acres of them.

OK Boomer Karen.

Turns out, they were endangered lupines. And it’s a misdemeanor to pick any wildflower on public lands in California, even those irresistible sweet peas or whatever they are that line the roads in Bonny Doon every April. I didn’t get caught by the authorities this time but learned something new about the left coast state that is my home. 

Apparently super-violent California criminals like Michael fucking Cheek can live among peaceable people, on privately owned roads, in the woods, with little to no supervision, butttttt if you touch any of these public-domain flowers we are going to have a situation here.

I imagined doing a little reiki on the lupines after putting them in that vase I like. They would’ve said it’s all good, girl. Pick away. 

Spotted: Hippietastic Baby Names

Cool Baby Names for Hippie Children, Recently Spotted in the Wild

Creedence (like Credence Clearwater Revival; nickname Creed?)

Terra

Torrey (respelling of Tori, in homage to the Torrey Pines)

Wilder (after Wilder Ranch, an oceanside state park on the coast in Santa Cruz)

Yet Another List of Things My Children Are Never Allowed To Watch (And Why)

More Sh*t My Kids Are Never Allowed to Watch (and why).


In no particular order:

TV Shows

1. The Thundermans. Reason: Theme song is catchy AF and haunts me in my dreams

2. Family Guy. Reason: Every time someone cracks a masturbation joke, my oldest three kids laugh. Loudly. Then, my fourth or fifth child asks me to explain the joke, and what should easily be a teachable moment turns the joke not funny

Speaking of masturbation jokes...

3.  Women's water polo or swimming--Pretty much any aquatic sport that women are playing these days. Reason: Atomic wedgies turn all of these respectable female athletes into unwitting strippers.
You may be asking yourself what I expect my kids to do in the event that they are sitting behind the starting blocks as official meet timers. In that case, they should close their eyes and listen for the splash.

4. That Discovery Channel Dolphins DVD. Reason: Contains live footage of a dolphin gang bang mating strategy. Babysitter who first viewed it with them was unsure of what to say.

[An actual book cover I found during my internet quest to remember the name of that Discovery Channel Dolphins DVD.  Some things just aren't meant to be Googled, such as "dolphin sex".  Also, for the record--gay dolphin sex is fine; I draw the line at hurting others, crimes against humanity, or group sex, though.]