Things To Never Have In Your House If You Have Children
1. Sharpie Fine-Tip Permanent Marker, 24-Pack Assorted Colors ('80's Glam). Cost of item: $14.99 plus free shipping. Cost of lesson learned: $3,000 in carpet and carpet pad. [Yes, I have pics. They are on my deactivated Facebook and I don't want to have to log on and retrieve them. I think I even took a video. You'll just have to take my word for it.]
2. A piano.
3. A large container of fish food. And a fish. (Dubya Dee is alive and well, and luckily there's no particular story that goes along with this one--yet.)
4. Couch pillows you kinda like.
5. A yardful of neighborhood kids and not enough banana licuado in the blender.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Moms of Boys (Scary Mommy)
Can relate to almost all of this, except for the totally-blue-uterus part.
http://www.scarymommy.com/10-things-moms-of-boys-must-do/
http://www.scarymommy.com/10-things-moms-of-boys-must-do/
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Renegotiations
Elise (disgruntled): MOM.
Me: What?
Elise: When Emily lost her first tooth, her parents gave her TEN dollars! And you only give one.
Me: Well her parents must be rich...
Me (30 seconds later): I mean, Tooth Fairy! Her Tooth Fairy must be rich. Not her parents.
Elise (unfazed): Please, please give me ten dollars.
Me: Plus, this isn't even your first lost tooth. It's just your first front tooth.
Elise: How about two dollars?
---
In other news, I made a meme:
Me: What?
Elise: When Emily lost her first tooth, her parents gave her TEN dollars! And you only give one.
Me: Well her parents must be rich...
Me (30 seconds later): I mean, Tooth Fairy! Her Tooth Fairy must be rich. Not her parents.
Elise (unfazed): Please, please give me ten dollars.
Me: Plus, this isn't even your first lost tooth. It's just your first front tooth.
Elise: How about two dollars?
---
In other news, I made a meme:

Tuesday, July 1, 2014
A Few Trip Pics
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