Follow My Sorry Ass


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Our Trip: Quick & Dirty Version

We're back from Utila.  Here are the highlights of the trip:

The Good:
-amazing rental house with stunning views
-breathtaking snorkeling right out front of property
-no one in our party contracted malaria*, explosive diarrhea, or that emerging "Chicken-goon-yay" virus* (*we think)

The Bad
-semi-automatic weapons on bank guards y la policia were a little intimidating
-power outage on day five; toilets no longer flushed (Poo Central Station in the two bathrooms)
-!Hace calor in Honduras!  Especialmente cuando no funciona el aire acondicionado.  =Hot, sweaty baby.

The Ugly
-I will need to post an image of all the insect bites covering my legs and back, in order to do the situation justice.  Luckily Zach didn't get too many.
-Zach forgot how to sleep through the night somewhere around Day 2, even when A/C was a-roarin'
-Fun Fact:  Honduras has an exit airport tax of US$40/person (surprise!)

Friday, June 20, 2014

Riding in Cars with Kids

Mid-1990's flashback of the week:

James:  Mom, what's a "wonderwall"?
Me:  (Turning down the Oasis song on the radio)  I don't know, buddy.  What do you think it is?
James:  A koala.
Me:  I think that's a "wallaby" you're thinking of.
James:  Nope.  Two different things.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

You Might Be From Detroit If...

You Might Be From Detroit If...

#001.  ...you think Kelly Clarkson should have named her baby River Rouge.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Dads: The Sound of You

I read a surprisingly cool quote in People, from Matthew McConaughey:

"It's nice when [the kids] notice the deep voice from across the house, and they know it's Papa.  They know it's Dad."

This totally happened today, when Joe came home from work (yes, he did work on a Saturday; building spaceships does take dedication even on Father's Day weekend; make that Dadication.  Zing!)

Zach was helping me unfold the laundry I'd just finished folding.  The two of us were upstairs, in the special laundry-folding spot (the floor, in front of the laundry room).  Joe came into the kitchen through the garage entrance and started talking to the big kids, who were in the grips of Minecraft.  Baby and I heard the familiar clink in the key bowl--Joe putting away his car keys.  And immediately, Zach perked up and started yelling and waving his arms.

It was unmistakable recognition of Dad's dad-noises by our almost 10-month-old.

Zach was thinking, "Dad's home!"  And he wouldn't be consoled until he was in Joe's arms.

--

One of the hardest moments of my life was, after my dad's accident, being in his house while he lay across town in the hospital.  Listening for the familiar, late-day noises of my teenage years and not hearing them.  Not hearing him stroll jovially into the house after a day at work to call out, "Hullo!" in just his way.  I was an adult by then, with kids of my own.  But at that time I felt as vulnerable as if I had never left childhood.

I remember praying to hear those things again.

Thank you, higher powers that be, for the dadsounds in my life.




Thursday, June 12, 2014

Camping

Went camping in the Eastern Sierras last weekend, via an invitation from some very brave friends.  It was fun.  We froze at night and it was sunburning hot in the daytime, but the Costco 8-person tent continues to serve and protect.

I'd call it a success.  Zach only ate one handful of dirt and nobody snagged himself with a fish hook.


At an alpine lake near Mammoth.

Dad 'n' Zach


Will and Elise stand on boulders; James stands in a pit and looks tiny.


Thursday, June 5, 2014

Motor-vation

Joe says he'll buy me a shiny new mom taxi if I can run a 6:30 mile.

My first thought--beyond wondering whether my husband is growing weary of the ol' love handles--was, Oh Good!  Now I can get the giant, tricked-out, gas-guzzling SUV I've always secretly wanted (but outwardly scorned).
"They see me rollin'/ They hatin'" -Chamillionaire Family Taxi


Then, a few minutes of internet research revealed the price of a giant gas-guzzler to be much, much too high for the likes of us.  Even the sensible one, without the spinners.  Oh, well.  On to the second choice...that schoolmarmish Honda minivan with the built-in vacuum.  Yesssss.

"You spilled something?  Vacuum it up RIGHT NOW.  Yes, while we're driving.  Need I remind you what our last minivan looked like on the inside?"  -Me, to anyone under age 12

But....dang.  Who would have thought you'd have to buy the Touring Elite (read: the most expensive one) to get the HondaVAC?  Frickin' Honda, you are really bumming me out, man.

So now I am a little sad.  And that's to say nothing of the kidney selling we'd have to do to afford any vehicle whatsoever (new or pre-food-encrusted) at the moment.

But hey, at least my love handles are shrinking.  :)

And here's another tally on the positive side of things:

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Zach-in-the-Box, for real this time.





Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Comic Book Artist

Here's a comic James made of his dad's life.

Notice the montage of scenes from Joe's life, each likeness with spiky hair and a smile.  There's Joe scoring in water polo (bottom left).  Top right is Joe winning a Junior Nationals event when he was 17.  Bottom right: looks like he's underhand serving a volleyball?  Top left: Joe with undisclosed female (me?). And top center, the family man with wife and gaggle of children.

My favorite is the "TM" indicating James is trademarking this idea.





Sunday, June 1, 2014

Metal Dads!

This is so cool.  I want to tell every guy I know how "metal" the dad life can be.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/31/dad-life-is-metal-photos_n_5424234.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular