Short Skirt / Long Stroller

"Short Skirt / Long Stroller"
(To the tune of "Short Skirt/Long Jacket", with apologies to CAKE)

I know a mom with a mind like a diaper
I know a mom who knows what's best
I know a mom with rear-view eyes
And a head that turns like a marionette’s

I know a mom with the kind approbations
Who's fast and thorough
And offers a snack
She's taking off her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's vacuuming the minivan
And sorting through crap

I know a mom with a short skirt and a lonnnng stroller......

I know a mom who gets up early
I know a mom who stays up late
I know a mom with uninterrupted fecundity
Who’s used plastic cutlery to cut through red steak
With fingernails that she bites like crust-us
And a voice that is warm like a kitten’s nap
She is fast and thorough
And offers a snack
She's sanitizing the minivan
And throwing out crap

I know a mom with a short skirt and a lonnnnng.... lonnng stroller

I know a mom with smooth gestations
I know a mom who eschews all trends
At Mom & Tot we will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk when she ignores my split ends

She wants a ride with the cupholder car seats
She wants a ride that will get us there
She's changing her name from Karen to Curran
She's trading the Chrysler for a Nine-Person Suburban

I know a mom with a short skirt and a lonnnnggggggggg stroller


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